Put a strawberry matcha in one hand, a feminist work of literature in the other, and the outfit of a performative male is almost complete—save for the decorative Labubu(s) and silver accessories. Schools around the country have seen a surge in youths sporting this trend—The Bates Student writer Josie Rothman even calling it an “epidemic.”

Its influence is certainly undeniable on our own campus, as quarter-zips have become a strong presence along every hallway—but the question remains: “Is it performative, or is it authentic?”

What stereotypes of masculinity are repeatedly reinforced in popular culture?

Have you ever heard the phrase, “Stop crying or I’ll give you something to cry about.” Well, for centuries there’s been a continuous cycle of men being trained from a young age to never ask for help; never show emotions besides anger; dominate conversations, but call it “confidence” and “leadership.” Kindness and empathy are “suspicious” and it’s much more important to argue loudly and incorrectly than to be right and show emotional intelligence. 

Toxic masculinity provides the rulebook, through a list of commandments. Don’t cry, don’t feel, don’t lose? The performative man is the progressive child who rebels against toxic masculinity with Oscar worthy-level commitment. They feel, they listen, and they don’t pretend to be “fine.” But what is behind the slouchy cardigan and blue-light glasses? 

Are they dressing for the female gaze?

I’ve asked myself and other fellow Mitty students about their opinions on the performative male trope. I received an array of responses. Some critique the Labubus solely, but others think the entire facade is overdone and annoying. Almost no one really cares about drinking oat milk—even if it has less environmental impact than dairy milk, and although my responders all unanimously agreed that performative men have good taste in music, some asked whether or not they even know the intentions of listening to Beabadoobee and drinking oat milk.

Is it just a pose to meet women in a coffee shop? These performative kinds of performances show up everywhere: in the need to dominate conversations by showing off how they’re really good at working on themselves (they do need to work on themselves), demonstrating how supportive they are in the means of posting about current events on Instagram but only because it’s trending, paying for something and then saying that they’re “only trying to be a gentleman” then mansplaining what feminism is to a woman who offered to pay, positioning every one of their opinions as a hot take, or lastly framing basic decency as heroism. It’s the reflex to center oneself in moments that don’t require it, to turn listening into waiting for a turn to speak. None of this is inherently malicious—but it is deeply unproductive.

Is this a trend or a lifestyle?

I believe that this idea of being performative is only starting because families are realizing that they were also once oppressing young men from using their voices by telling them to “man up” and turning them into macho men who don’t understand why salty-tasting water gushes from the mucous membranes of their eyes. Society is changing how we raise children by teaching them that there is a multitude of ways they can express themselves and respectfully treat each other, like asking for basic consent and understanding the word “no”, opening doors for each other and not just because it’s for a woman but because it’s polite to do this for anyone, and lastly not making fun of someone for liking something different than what their standard gender norm would tell them to like. Now, you’re more likely to find a boy playing with dolls and understanding what a menstrual cycle is, but it’s also more likely that he’s only doing it for attention. 

Let’s end by reviewing the key details that identify a performative man in the wild… because the Performative Man does not simply exist—he is summoned. Every moment you think you can swiftly enter the Goodwill Bins without a dripped up dude trying to swipe away vintage Carhartt, he’s there. Watching. Waiting. Wired earbuds in and Depop store activated. He’s ready to dive into the bin and snatch up—let’s face it—some thread remains of a distressed Carhartt jacket that barely resembles a jacket anymore. Doesn’t matter, it’s still a sick find. Don’t forget, gatekeeping doesn’t exist. When you casually mention you bought a new record from a cool store in San Francisco… they’ll figure out which one and clean the place out. That one vinyl you were looking for? It’s on their Depop now. 

My own rating of Performative Male tropes on a scale how performative I am myself: 

Tote bag:

• Laurel: Ever heard of Lorelei Gilmore? Mary Poppins? Meet the women who carry their entire lives within a few pieces of fabric. This is where everything you need on a sidequest will disappear. Valley Fair parking receipts from October, a singular Trader Joe’s sticker, a chapstick you don’t ever remember buying, some sand from the last time you went to the beach, and, if you’re a senior, like me, perhaps Wild by Cheryl Strayed.

Wired earbuds: 

• L: This is only a convenience when I forget to charge my Airpods and I also remember to keep these in my purse. Downside is having to untangle them or not even bother because they’ll tangle back up again in 0.01 seconds.

Matcha drinker (with oat milk): 

• L: Don’t get me wrong, I can see why matcha is enjoyed but the lattes are almost too sweet and yet not sweet enough….It is not my cup of tea but this is coming from an avid black coffee drinker who prefers her drink taste like dirt more than grass. However, I like choosing oat milk because it is significantly more environmentally friendly than dairy.

Feminist Literature reader

• L: Called out—I’ve never read a Jane Austen book but I should. 

Carabiner Labubu: 

• L: Hot take—Labubus are kinda cute but I fear them because they seem like they’re Furby’s long lost cousin but less hostile…but I love carabiners and always have one linked onto my wallet! Perfect when I don’t have a purse to carry my belongings.

Film/digital Camera: I would say on most occasions I’ve got some sort of camera on me and I have three vintage film cameras in my room.

• L: I would say on most occasions I’ve got some sort of camera on me and I have three vintage film cameras in my room. 

Vinyl (Clairo, Beabadoobee, Wave to Earth, etc): 

• L: I love indie/alt music like Grentperez, Wave to Earth and others. The most performative vinyl I have is a Role Model vinyl (Kansas Anymore)

Pictures with a pet or baby that is not yours:

• Laurel: I have so many pictures of pets that aren’t mine 🙂

Thrifted fit:

• L: I’ve got some pretty unique finds in my closet but sadly no Carhartt. Catch me buying vintage records or antique magazine pages.

Baggy pants: 

• L: Live in them.

T-shirt, outerwear or another accessory with an empowering saying:

• L: My Homeboy Industries hoodie says “You are exactly what God had in mind when he made you“

Quarter Zip:

• L: I have at least 7 in my closet that I can name… and two are Excalibur Yearbook! #performativestaff