You sit, sweating intensely. It’s been bugging you all week: seeing it in front of you, awaiting this moment, hoping, praying. You look around desperately, squeezing your hands and breathing through your final moments of desperation. It is all up to destiny, and you hope that your guardian angel will help you just this one time.

You hear your name amidst a few others, ones you maybe don’t recognize. Your head is in a daze as you see unfamiliar faces with familiar ones. 

“Hello.” The word comes out of your mouth almost automatically. You look around, gulping fearfully. “Work well with your groups. Your assignment is due next Tuesday,” you hear your teacher say in the distance.

The moment has arrived: the group project has been assigned. Here is our lineup: Will the group survive?

The Leader (the brave, lonely soul)

• The leader is often the brave soul who is talking to nobody in the group chat. They know most of the members, so they make an Instagram group chat that never becomes active. The leader makes the Google slides with a cute Slidesgo template and tries to assign work: Steve, you work on sections 1 and 2, and Anna, you can do sections 3 and 4—but it’s debatable if the members even ever read the messages. Even if they do, it’s a 50/50 chance that the members will actually do the work.
• The leader also sends emails throughout the school day asking about the status of the project. Of course, there’s a good chance the leader will get no response. Still, the leader remains fearless and unwavering. They finish their part of the project and wait for the responses of their classmates, never giving up.

The Nonexistent (also lonely—but willfully so)

• The nonexistent has things going on. They have so much going on in their life that they don’t have time to even read the messages that the leader sends—if they even get them. There’s a good chance that they just eternally put their phone on do-not-disturb mode. It’s not intentional: they just have so much on their plate that they cannot add another main dish. Their lobster is indeed too buttery and their steak too juicy, so much so that it would genuinely make them sick.
• The nonexistent student has depth. Even if they never even open the slides presentation, they end up showing up on the day of the presentation. They have no idea what’s happening, but they manage to read the notes that the Brainiac (coming soon!) put in, locking in and delivering a flawless presentation, albeit mispronouncing a few words. After that, they disappear into the background, becoming nonexistent once more.

The Brainiac (the hard carry)

• Here comes the brainiac, who does the majority of the work. They often use sophisticated words that no one else knows: it’s not even for the function of the word, it’s just to sound eloquent. Of course, it works—and you can even tell which slides the Brainiac made based on the vocabulary level. They do actual research on the topic and probably make a stacked works cited page. However, they have a flaw: they put way too many words on the slides. Like, who wants to read that much yap?
• Really, the Brainiac is the hard carry of the group project. Without the Brainiac, the presentation would not have been done. Maybe they don’t respond to the group chat either, but at least their work is shown on the slides—their blood, sweat, and tears. The years of painstaking Kumon really paid off in that glorious moment where the Brainiac was the star of the presentation.

The Procrastinator (grinds until 2 a.m.)

• Ah, the procrastinator, the other hard carry of the group. The procrastinator was scrolling reels until 11 p.m. the night before the presentation and checked their Canvas to-do list and found—Gulp!—a whole project due tomorrow, worth 50 points. They quickly went into their Google slides to find a half-done presentation. To the Brainiac’s credit, the half that was done was flawless. But the other half of it was completely blank!
• Enthused by the Red Bull on their desk and the last-minute adrenaline rush, the Procrastinator types furiously. They probably use AI to compress a 30-page article into the main points to use in the presentation and make effective use of their time. Their research is rushed but valid, and they furiously type speaker notes in shorthand. They have an “it’s due, so I do” mindset. Finally, at 2 a.m., they finish, and tiredly conk out on their bed, ready for tomorrow.

The Confused (just there for the vibes)

• The Confused is honestly just there for the fun and vibes. But as much as they’re there for the vibes, they really want to help — they really do!—but they’re just so confused. They probably don’t even know what unit they’re on, or what subject they’re doing a presentation on. So they begin working on the presentation and do, maybe, three slides. Of course, when the Brainiac is going through the slide deck, they completely delete the Confused’s slides and just do it themselves (typical Brainiac).
• But the Confused perseveres, showing up at the presentation, ready to present whatever ended up as the final product. They don’t notice that their slides are completely gone—they’re just so confused about everything that’s happening. They pull off the in-class presentation with every note in their delivery rising up, as if questioning their own sanity.

In the end, the group survived. Maybe it wasn’t a perfect presentation, but it certainly was a memorable one. Curious about which archetype you are? Take this short quiz to find out!

Q1: What time do you get to school in the morning?

1. I get there early, at 7:30 a.m. or earlier
2. Around 8 a.m.?
3. 8:15 a.m., not early but definitely safe
4. I cut it close at 8:27 a.m.
5. I’m consistently late… oops!

Q2: What is your favorite subject?

1. Definitely Math or Science
2. Probably History or English
3. Lunch, for sure
4. I don’t like any of them…
5. PE / an art or music / elective!

Q3: What time do you sleep at night?

1. Probably sometime around 11 p.m.? It’s not good to sleep too late
2. Pretty early, around 10:30 p.m.
3. Not sure, to be honest, it’s different every day
4. That’s a mystery for you
5. Always 1 a.m.+. Definitely have pulled all-nighters before

Q4: What is your best trait?

1. I’m smart and resourceful
2. I’m responsible and strong
3. I’m a pretty social person
4. I have a mysterious aura
5. I’m good when I’m put on the spot

Q5: What hobby do you spend most of your spare time on?

1. Reading or playing chess
2. I like to volunteer 
3. Going out with my friends!
4. I sleep
5. Probably scrolling

Mostly 1’s: Congratulations, you are the brainiac! The group could not have finished without you.

Mostly 2’s: You are the leader, strong-minded: even if your efforts went unnoticed, you’ll make it big someday.

Mostly 3’s: Nice job, you’re the confused! Maybe you struggle a little with understanding what’s going on, but at least you always try your best!

Mostly 4’s: Wow, you are the nonexistent—you’re locked in…just on other things. You certainly know your priorities!

Mostly 5’s: Oh gosh, you are the procrastinator. Sleep some more, please! And stop scrolling on your phone, it’s rotting your brain.