Claire: So I finally got into this school of my dreams and managed to make it out of middle school alive—just barely. Phew. The school of my dreams! I’m instantly going to make lifelong friends in Year One, unlock my newfound ambition and independence, and people will spontaneously start singing like in High School Musical. It’s going to be the most fun years of my life…right?

Jonathan: Well… not exactly. Being a teenager will bring many of those amazing experiences, sure. But there’s also a lot of hard stuff: academic workload, social pressure, messing up at your first job, dreading Mondays. You may feel absolutely disheartened some days or your personality may feel at odds with the social climate, and the common notion that you should be having more fun will seemingly mock you. Know that, if you find yourself in some catastrophe or a seemingly endless slog, you aren’t doing it wrong. Everyone has unique circumstances, and there are ups and downs to each stage of life that are both inevitable and impermanent. Take heart knowing that you shouldn’t peak in high school! While high school years are associated with fun and defining yourself socially, you will have so much more to attain in college and the real world. 

Try everything you can as a freshman/stack your ECs

C: Okay, fine, high school won’t always be a blast. So, I’m supposed to be focusing on learning! Except everyone told me, “join EVERYTHING as a freshman!” to try things out and secure my spot quickly. Since then, I’ve basically jumped at every opportunity there is. I scanned the QR codes of virtually every club at Club Faire, and my inbox is in chaos with Canvas announcements, emails, and yearbook photo reminders from clubs I don’t even remember joining. Will this actually benefit me? Or am I really just wasting my time?

J: Trying everything is a valid approach, but you also need to know when to step back. It is easy to fall into the trap of getting deeply committed to many things. Once those responsibilities stack up along with your classes, your schedule might become unbearable. It’s okay to quit a club if it stops working for you. Truth be told, it is very likely you will have to. Exploring and staying flexible is a better mindset than trying to do everything.

You have to stick with an activity all 4 years

C: So, eventually, I’ll have to commit to only a few ECs. But how do I decide which to keep and which to let go of? Do colleges want to see “consistent passion?” What if my passion is kind of… inconsistent? (Heck, does college even matter right now?) When is it too late to quit robotics to be a theater kid? Or quit a sport to do speech and debate or something? Is that even allowed?

J: Even when considering applications, perhaps the best approach is to be true to yourself. Stick with the activities that truly engage you even if they seem a bit scattered. Don’t be afraid to take a leap of faith if you want to change directions—it might be as simple as attending an audition, tryout, or first meeting. After all, trying different things can give you perspective and help you find your passion. 

Everyone goes on retreats, attends functions, dresses up on spirit days, etc.

C: My orientation leaders swore that “everyone, like everyone, participates in everything”: like dances, retreats, spirit days… and if I skip these “ultimate high school experiences,” I’ll be friendless forever and spend lunch sitting alone and talking to myself or staring at a wall. It seems almost mandatory for us to go. What if I don’t really want to go? Am I missing out on some core experience? Is it okay if my experience is just… staying home? 

J: Don’t give in to that peer pressure! In general, it is helpful to try some of these events at least once to gauge how you really feel about them. Maybe you’ll realize that you were wrong and become a regular attendee. Or maybe you’ll truly find that you’d much rather use that time for something else. Sometimes staying home—with the self-care, productivity, or relaxation it might entail—is just as valuable as a night out. That is truly for you to decide. Don’t let others push you into thinking the right answer is always yes. As a final note, friendship is a gradual process. Missing out on a few events ultimately makes an insignificant dent in a healthy relationship. 

You will become more confident in yourself 

C: At least at the end of high school I’ll be super confident in myself, right? All I hear is “explore everything” and “find yourself,” but I’m completely lost and I don’t know what I’m doing. Is there a map? GPS? As a senior who’s done all the exploring, does your confidence and direction just magically pop into existence?

J: You will find confidence and purpose, but with a caveat. The worldview and purpose you have now will be rocked in a good way by all the things you shall learn. Your ideas and beliefs will evolve as you grow. Confidence, in a sense, is not necessarily about having all the answers. Instead, it is best expressed as having the courage to grow and adapt. Contrary to popular belief, seniors don’t have their lives figured out. What they often do have is the resolve and experience to approach the uncertain future with that courage and openness. Underclassmen, you have that within you, too. The concept of purpose becomes a bit irrelevant when you realize that, as a young person, there are so many routes you can take.