“My dad once told me, ‘If you really like someone, being friends with them would be better than dating them. I was too young to understand then, but I think I get it now.’” As the great Instagram says, sometimes love is hard and we often opt to stay as friends, afraid of rejection. But love always comes out victorious right?

You betcha!! Here, we’re going to give you a guide on how to get that dream crush of yours at school.

How to Love 101

Text your crush

• It’s not stalking, it’s “consistency.” Text them every morning with a “good morning” and every night with a “goodnight” so they know that you are thinking of them 24/7. They’ll love the attention you give! 
• And when they take 6 business days to reply to your incessant onslaught of messages, ensure you send something back within 8 microseconds.

Stay up talking to them

• Who needs sleep? Sleep is so overrated. You know you’re going to be tired the next day but you could be having deep conversations with your favorite person about nothing at 2 a.m. What could ever beat that? 

Be delusional

• Think of yourself as the one. Keep telling yourself, “They’re just playing hard to get… They’ll come around eventually.” Gaslighting oneself is the penultimate form of success (said someone, probably).

When your friends ship you with someone you don’t mind dating

• At first, you have to play it cool and say “We’re just friends.” But deep down? You start replaying every small interaction in your head. Suddenly, you wish your friends weren’t just joking. But then every group hangout suddenly turns into an episode of matchmaking. And the worst part? Your friends are not the slightest bit subtle. Now you’re in this weird limbo. Do you agree with your friends? Laugh it off? Keep pretending that you don’t like them? But admitting feels like giving your friends too much power––so you resort to keeping quiet as always. But what if you chose the other option and it worked out? Honestly, that doesn’t sound too bad, does it?

Like their Instagram Stories

• If they post a story, like it. Even if it’s the most random thing, just like it. That’s how you show interest, right? Or are we going with, “Everyone likes stories right??” One won’t hurt. 
• If they like your story, rejoice because that surely means they are madly in love with you. They’re just too shy to say it in person.

Stalk their social media

• Don’t worry about the date when the post is posted, just go writing comments on every single one of the posts. You’re just waiting for the right time to comment on their picture from 2020.

Once you have perfected your digital stalking and ensured that they know you exist in this world (preferably in the least creepy way possible, but you do you), it’s time to shift gears. It’s finally time to put yourself out there and face the world head-on! So, here’s a guide with too many choices for a likely one-shot opportunity.

How to Confess 101

Via Text

• The safest and most low-pressure method. Craft a message that’s simple like “Hey, I’ve been meaning to tell you… I like you. No rush to respond, just wanted to let you know!” Hit send, and then spend the next unending hours overanalyzing the typing and reading indicator.
• “Read yesterday”

Ask your friend who has never been in love

• Everyone knows that coaches never play, so obviously your most inexperienced friend is the best person to guide you in this endeavor. They’ll suggest strategies that are often great making you think why they haven’t been in love. 
• We’re totally not biased or anything.

Before or after class

• Find them right before the bell rings (accidentally running into them comes into play if you know what I mean). It’s the perfect time to keep it short: “Hey, I like you, just thought you should know!” Then run away like a pro.

Get peer pressured

• Nothing like your group of friends chanting “Do it! Do it!” to give you that final nudge you need. However, if the wrong friends are chosen, your secret might not be a secret already, and by the time you confess, they might already know––and possibly already have a prepared answer. But, if not, the stomach-curdling, tremble-invoking cheers in the background are EXACTLY what you need in this situation. Plus, you’ll have an entire cheer squad ready to console or celebrate with you afterward.

Write it in a yearbook

…so you won’t have to see them for 3 months if it goes horribly wrong.

Of course, if none of these work, just remember: love is a journey, not a destination. And there’s always next semester.