During any free time or passing period, masses of students swarm the walkways, perfectly blocking paths and making hallways maze-like. This creates rather awkward situations. Do you yell at them or calmly request that they step aside? Plow straight through or go around? Is it worth getting upset about the accumulating seconds they take from your life?
Most people would, understandably, consider this to be an issue that needs to be stopped, even in spite of the fact that standing in the hallway definitely improves your conversational productivity. After all, who wouldn’t want to host their next conference or meeting smack dab in the middle of the hallway? In reality, their ability to be immovable and in-the-way presents various good uses.
One proposal would involve students being deployed as police roadblocks. They could certainly be more effective than spike strips and conventional barriers. Have you ever seen a maintenance department forklift or utility cart try to move through these crowds? It’s painstaking. Presumably, hallway-blocking Mitty students could have the same effect on fugitives or reckless drivers.
On the same note, a lot of drivers don’t take traffic cones and road work signs seriously. Enter the hallway-blockers again. One can simply situate them in the appropriate lane and tell them that it is a passing period. Better yet, offer service hours for it.
However, precautions would be needed. In high-risk environments, it might be recommended that they dress up as orange cones (for the high visibility, definitely not because it’s funny or anything) or be covered with tire-piercing armor. On top of that, special insurance plans with coverage for being struck by a vehicle may have to be taken out. Just in case.
On a smaller scale, several campus improvements can be implemented under the principle of being an obstacle. Those standing in the way could serve as a new and randomized hurdle course, helping the track and field team be prepared for anything. In addition, if people are going to be obstructing the way, they may as well go all in and do it with pride. Prizes could be awarded to teams that manage to cause the most disruption. Nationally ranked sports programs, Monarch Madness, and now the world’s leading hallway blockers—that’s Mitty!
Mitty aims to be the best Catholic high school out there. Imagine how far ahead of the game it would get using a state-of-the-art traffic system for humans. Miniature stop lights and lane markings could dot campus. Students and faculty alike could take shifts patrolling the breezeways, reviewing speed camera footage, or issuing parking tickets.
Or maybe we could simply… be courteous and get out of the way if not actively moving?
Nah, that’s just an afterthought.
In conclusion, your peers blocking the hallways and walkways are not just an obstructive gift to you as you run, nearly late, to your next class. They are a potential gift to society. Each and every one of us can help work towards this revolution! Next time someone is in your way, don’t think of it as a mere annoyance. Instead, try practicing your high jump or talking to them about a career in traffic management.